Wednesday, January 05, 2005

The transparently offensive Golden Child

The new teacher has begun to grind on everyone’s nerves. His colourless obnoxiousness, highlighted by a dull appreciation of his situation and the country he exists in, is starting to pull at everyone's reserves of patience. Stalled in the process of becoming a police officer, he had been handed a job at the school by his father's best friend, the coincidental owner of the school. To him, the country is a backwards castaway from colonial times, foolishly thrown away by an ignorant people. It took him barely a moment to distance himself from every person he met. His blunt thoughtless manner did little to cloud a dim wit and a slow mind.

“I think he knows he’s stupid.” someone told me.

“Well, you know man, it’s not something he hides.”

“I think that somewhere in his mind, the old reptile part of his mind, he knows it. And he’s developed that booming voice to cover it up. He just hypnotizes people with it so they don’t say anything back. Like a tiger, you know, roars to keep it's prey from moving.”

“They're like too stunned to talk to him.”


“Well, I know how they feel man.”

The nickname he has is one he was given even before arriving, The Golden Child. It seemed a bit unfair at the time, and everyone agreed not to use it when he arrived, but it turned out to be spookily appropriate.

Stunningly obnoxious, if he had been raised by the KKK they couldn't have done a better job. From Git'ton, Twatsford, or Lower Wanking Tosser, he's about twenty two, thin like plywood and taller than me at about six foot seven. He also has one of those receding chins hermits hide, or that geologists cover with beards. The Police, he told us, put him in a two year holding pattern for training, a somewhat incredible story English friends have said, whose immediate conclusion for refusal by a desperately short police force had been - Ahhh rascist!

So why the hell am I writing anything about him. Well, he might be staying longer. It seems that he's somewhat given up on the Police now, after realising that, to quote "any old Asian woman can get a job in front of me." So he wants to stick around and do more teaching. It's going to get interesting around here soon.


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